Memoirs

“Upon pursuing art as my career, the word “𝘈𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴” has been my tag line. It is how I close my emails + handwritten letters. I find it to be such a powerful word. “𝘈𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴” represents eternity; an element or essence of being everlasting + ever present, constant + consistent. 𝗔𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 is what I strive to give, exude, and live in my daily life.“⁣

I was recently asked this question,” How has having your child changed or enhanced the way you look at making art?”I have been reflecting a lot on how I have changed since being a mom, especially as an artist. I was so grateful of the opportunity to really reflect and give a thoughtful answer.

Here is what I wrote:

Prosperity is a word that everyone would love to replicate within their own lives. Usually associated with money, prosperity and the color green I think are best connected to the sensation of abundance and infinite serenity found in nature, found in pondering the grandiose essence of each leaf in a tree or each blade of grass in an endless field. The ability to slow down from our fast-paced lives to enjoy the beauty of our world, and to soften the rancor of our loud minds, to just sit and be in awe is prosperity. ⁣

With “Born Free” I distinctly remember the feeling of painting for three full days back to back, and not having any idea of where the painting was going. Although I have experienced these feelings many times in the past when painting, that unnerving feeling of not being in control reemerged. Fear that I am a fraud. Worried if the art I’ve created in the past were mere moments of luck. Fear of not being in control. The unease of not achieving what I want at the exact time and way I want it. Like always, eventually, I had no choice but to surrender to the flow of what the painting was always destined to be.

Sanctuary provides a place of sanctuary for my mind—a safe place to mentally escape the busy, noisy world of my thoughts, routines, and action item list, guiding me gently into a tranquil mental + spiritual state. Art has the power to affect us emotionally, transform the energy of the room and also the energy of a person. It is my hope that Sanctuary provides a safe haven for those seeking an internal rejuvenation + recovery, before seizing the opportunity of a new day.

“Enter” represents an inflection point in my life and in my art, signifying a newfound inspiration and approach. Validation is now internally measured based on personal satisfaction and purpose, opposed to critical review. Art created for an audience of one, opposed to the audience of all.

Found.

A large scale painting, created outside on my workstation while pregnant with my son.

Each painting is like a photograph. It captures a snapshot in time. When I look at a piece, I rarely see the work; I see a memory of who and where I was at the time of creation. I remember the why I was there. I remember what I was doing. I sometimes remember what I was feeling during that time.

“It is a full-circle moment like this, where I remind myself, I am actually doing what I thought + said I was going to do. I am actually living in real time, what I once dreamed of. Life can be so distracting + challenging at times, where I can easily forget how I am living my actual dream, now.” - AVM Hawkins

⁣Although cold, sometimes even with freezing temperatures, this winter season is an opportunity to clear our minds, free ourselves from limiting thoughts + ideas, and shed the things that no longer serve us— where we can step forward into a whole new being. ⁣⁣

Being a new mom has deeply inspired so many ideas in my head + pent up creative energy in my body, just waiting to be released. I am so very excited in whom I am becoming, and stepping forward into being.” - AVM Hawkins

“The anger I once felt moments before, forgotten…

I felt gratitude for my emotions, for they led me to this moment, to translate movement into something beautiful.” - AVM Hawkins, “Art Highlight: Mira 1 + 2.”

This new original series channels the energy of my beloved time at the University of Houston and this creative endeavor that sparked the inspiration to become an artist / creative entrepreneur. It is so amazing, how much I have grown, yet am still connected to my true self. These toes incorporates my original fine art into a brand new way to engage with my work.

I am very proud of this commissioned custom-painted black tie evening gown, for my dear friend, Family Law Attorney, Lauren Waddell. The was my first creative project after giving birth to my lovely Harry. I cannot adequately describe how excited I was to be chosen for this awesome idea, and to have full creative control and complete trust for the project.

This happenstance moment ultimately led me to buying incense cones for the first time, which led me to developing a meditation practice, deepening my own personal spiritual connection to myself and all things. Like meditation, it is my hope that “Unveiling the Inner Deity,” inspires the self-discovery of the divinity in all of us, the inner goodness, limitless abilities and possibilities within all of us.

“What I love most, is that from afar, the viewer sees a beautiful abstract collage / mosaic work of art, but as they draw nearer and closer, the viewer can see all the beautiful, inspiring, and encouraging hidden messages from the Collector’s dearly beloved friends and family. It fulfills my desire to create beautiful but also deeply meaningful art.” - AVM Hawkins

Everyday, through my art, through an attempt to live and express myself more fully and honestly, I try to remind myself of the simplicity yet pure power of just being alive, here and now, within this (and each) moment.