Night Life

Last night, similar to many nights, I took a break to sit outside in our quaint backyard.

I took some deep, grounding breaths, sat for a few minutes in solitude, and meditated.

It wasn’t long until my little one found me.

I could hear him inside the house, asking, “Mom, where are you?” in his sweet, 3 year old voice.

My moment in nature did not last long, but that moment was more than enough.

Going through the process of writing these blogs, they reveal to me just how important my life as a human being directly translates to my life as an artist.

There’s really no separation between my personal life and my life as an artist.

The goal is not to further compartmentalize my life, but to become more whole, more in full alignment with it.

To allow, enter, walk and interact with the world around me, cohesively—truthfully.

This blog is a reminder, that I am always an artist, and inspiration is always around me.

My mediums and opportunities to create are always present. Infinite.

Being an artist, is a way of being and seeing the world. It is not limited to painting in a studio.

Being an artist is living life with eyes open—open for inspiration and opportunities to create magical moments in our day-to-day lives.

It’s about seeing the art that is right in front of us—remembering its divine essence, and recognizing, acknowledging its reverence.

Maybe even somehow find a way to document it—capture its beauty—so your experience, your ephiphany, could be shared with others.

Before motherhood, my relationship to work as an artist was primarily studio driven.

I would spend as many hours in the studio as possible, because that was what was needed in my personal development.

I had to, (and still have to) put in my 10,000 hours.

I think this was ignited by my excitement to finally pursue art full-heartedly, and partially by my fear to get better, to rise up to meet my ambitious goals and desires as an artist.

I tend to get really excited about an opportunity to exhibit my work. I then dream—imagine—the ultimate, best case scenario of presenting my work, and then use excitement and fear to drive my actions to achieve as close as possible to the goal I dreamt of in my head.

Life post motherhood has been very different.

Diametrically opposed, different.

Yet, I believe this has been a blessing and an approach that was required for my next phase in my life, personally and professionally.

Now, most of my moments of creativity, have been outside the studio—on my drafting table, at our kitchen countertop, or in my living room.

Art has been more incorporated into my everyday life, more than ever before.

My relationship has become more cohesive. More congruent.

Now for me, being an artist is not just about solely producing work—painting, sketching, planning, exhibiting.

Being an artist, is just who I am, without any requirement to be anything or prove anything.

And that is a huge awakening for me.

When I first began, I wasn’t creating art consistently, and I wasn’t showing it.

Most of my peers had no idea I was an artist, nor did they know that I really desired to pursue my creativity at as a profession.

So when I had the opportunity to pursue art in 2018 in my first art residency, I felt the need to do the work to show I was indeed, an artist.

I would always use the term, “I’m a real artist now.”

My husband would always correct me—”You are and have always been a real artist.”

Like in my life, also in my art, I felt the need to do something to deserve to be recognized, appreciated, and loved.

But this time, to slow down, and actually notice the flowers, the beauty around me in my everyday, is me, being a “real” artist.

Slowing down does not mean, I’m less committed.

It’s actually quite the opposite.

It means I recognize that being an artist, is not a marathon. It’s a 100 mile journey on real terrain.

It means I’m committed. Completely.

For the long haul.

For life.